It was a late afternoon on a sunny day at the band room, we were packing up our instruments and supplies we needed for the performance, taking everything to the back of the bus, and getting ready for the ride to Waikoloa Queen Shops. On the bus I was feeling a bit nervous about the performance and so was my friend sitting next to me. I grabbed my music folder and I started putting my music sheets in order, looking down at them to make sure I didn’t mess up; checking the time getting closer and closer to the performance made me feel like my arms and shoulders started to shake and tense up accompanied by my heart beating faster than it ever had before. Arriving sooner than I expected I was there, at the Queen Shops.
Walking out of the bus after a long drive and stretching my legs and arms felt like the best thing in the world. The other band students and I were taking out our instruments and taking them to the pavilion we were playing at that night. In an n hour we got pretty much everything done and set up with about an hour left to spare before the performance so I decided to walk around and check out some stores to get my mind off of the show. I eventually made it to Island Gourmet and I hadn’t eaten all day. I took about 10 steps in and sushi caught my eye. After eating that straight-up gourmet meal I checked the time; it was 5 minutes before I performed and being late to a performance is very embarrassing, I do not recommend it.
Sprinting to my spot on the stage I quickly assembled my saxophone, got my music out, and got ready to perform, this was my biggest performance yet and I was really nervous to play. Mr. Washburn got up in front of everyone and started talking about how we got to where we are today and the progress we had made throughout the year. After that, he started the song we were about to play and that’s when it came to me, my stage fright.
We were just moments away from playing and I could see the big crowd in front of me with all their phones out, feel the sweat dripping off my neck in the muggy air, the clacking of the drumsticks counting us off into the song. I thought to myself that maybe if I just played quietly I wouldn’t be looked at if I messed up, so that’s what I did for some of the first songs we played, shaking in nervousness, but then I realized that I should be having fun, who cares if I mess up. I should be playing because I want to have fun and my fear went away. I was playing out more and more until eventually I remembered that I had a solo, but I wasn’t afraid, I was excited to play it – when I play a solo it feels like the spotlight is on me for that very moment of me playing that song, with all the other instruments in the background, playing the rhythm and melody.
Sooner or later we had already finished our last song, I wanted to keep playing so badly. I was having the most fun I ever had performing for people, but I knew I was going to have more performances in the future so it was okay. After a while people left and we put our instruments away. Walking to the bus I thought to myself and realized that performing was actually really fun and playing music for people is such an amazing experience.
Goddess Gonsalves • Feb 2, 2024 at 1:39 PM
Performing at the Queen Shops must have been so exciting. I can imagine how nervous everyone could have been before the performance, but I’m sure you did great!
Pualena Lange • Feb 1, 2024 at 3:39 PM
That is so brave of you to face your stage fright like that. I guarantee that with time you will get over your fright and will enjoy playing much more!