It was dark. Well it felt dark. She was playing Sudoku, my mom was. Each number had a place on that popping screen, her soft tapping of the phone, calming. I was laying on her freckled arm, half asleep but still hazy and awake. I was sure I was in the position so that she didn’t leave me. I was on guard. Watching… but it was getting harder to stay awake. The dim moonlit windows absorb my drowsiness, making me go still. 

Running water. I focused my eyes, I could see my parent’s comforter clearly now. It was lit up by the orange bathroom light. The dead silence of the last drop of water then the sudden sound of brushing teeth. I stared unfocused at the glowing bathroom, watching as she did her bathroom routine. I’m not sure what I was waiting for, but she left the bathroom and started putting on her scrubs. She always had interesting scrubs for every season. There was a Halloween one, one with penguins, plain ones, and ones with fun characters. I don’t know how she had the energy to get up at this hour. Well- it was maybe  like, 8:30pm or something but I was only 6 or 7 years old. I didn’t sleep late. I was a good kid. 

I stood up the moment when I realized that she was going to leave me. “Mommy don’t go,” I mumbled. “I’ll see you in the morning, ok?” she reassured as she rummaged through her pink purse. She got out her phone and I heard a jangle of keys. I knew she was going to leave me all alone. “Go nene – go sleep sleep,” she told me. “Mmmm..” I managed to say. Then she left the room. 

I followed her out. The soft carpet left me, and I was welcomed with the cold marble floor on my bare feet. I slowly shuffled down the hall of pictures, and smelt the brewing of coffee. I slowly made my way to the couch where my mom was already seated sipping her hot coffee and scrolling through facebook. She got up again to the beeping of the microwave. I sat down next to her purse and unfinished mug.I  waited, with heavy eyes as she opened the door and I smelt the leftover spaghetti she was going to take for her midnight dinner. She packed her lunchbox and came back to sit next to me again. 

 She stopped rushing and enjoyed her coffee. I leaned my face on her shoulder, and saw her facebook feed. Afterwards, I just stopped looking and rolled off to curl up on the couch. I felt like I could stay there forever. My drowsy eyes closed, it felt delicious. And I knew that they were never going to open. 

My mom’s weight was gone, and only one light was on, I knew because I could feel it through my eyelids. But I stayed there. Another jangle of keys… the creak of the door… I felt light… peaceful and safe…still fast asleep comfortably between the couch cushions.  

Then I fell. My heart dropped. I was falling deep deep down. And it was dark.

I forced myself to awake. I needed to wake up. Like getting one breath of air after drowning. I realized that my dad had laid me on my bed next to my sister. He comes home late since he runs his own business. He pulled the shared blanket over the two of his daughters.  I framed myself to the perfect resting position. 

My mom had left me to go to work at the Hospital Lab. My dad just came home to take care of me. I knew that I was safe whatever time of the day, and I drifted away to the deep land of my dreams.