The Best and the Worst


This pandemic, I can say, has brought the worst out of me, but at the same time, it created the best of me. It took away the things I used to believe I lived for, basketball, friends, going outside, and heck even breathing fresh air. But Corona gave me a HUGE aha moment. I realized because of everything I used to juggle back then I used never used to have time for myself. And when this pandemic arrived I lost myself, what was I to do? I gave everyone a hard time, I started making bad choices, I lost sight of who I was. I did something really bad and I got caught and for most kids, that would suck but for me, thank the gods for letting me get caught cause that was the point that I had to change. When I was caught my mom took me into the room and yelled at me, talked to me, but most of all cried because I hurt her. That night she said something to me that hurt me, she looked me in my eyes and asked “where did my Rylee go?” And something about that hurt me because I knew exactly what she was talking about, I used to be so respectful, so quiet, I was a great kid. Of course, I wanted that little girl back but I didn’t even know where to begin. I started by pushing everyone away because I needed time to myself. After pushing a lot of stress and people away, I realized some of those people took me down the wrong path. I started working out, and I started to do things right for me. I started talking to this boy, who is great for me. He picks up on my worst days and supports me on my best. I started going to school and that makes me so happy, basketball practices started up. I didn’t realize what having my social life taken away from me actually took from me. I can feel that little girl who will always be a part of me and start to shine through,  I can hear those who have passed, cheer me on, I can feel everyone who used to hate me, now look up at me because when they brought me down, I was actually shining, and I can see my mother look at me with no disappointment, and no remorse again, I can see me finally making that stairway to my redemption. I am growing up and I realized that. I don’t need to live for anything or anyone, I just need to live for me.